funny quotes on english grammar

May 13, 2023 Post a Comment

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“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
―

Dorothy Parker

“It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening.

If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters.”
―

Lemony Snicket,

The Bad Beginning

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“One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history—the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.

The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be descibed differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is futher complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.

In English, the rules of grammar are one of the hardest aspects with which to get to grips, and some grammar rules even elude native speakers. A good way to master them is to use humour: there are plenty of grammar jokes and conundrums out there that will help you learn the rules. Here are some of our favourites.

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We start with a little rhyme to help you remember what commas are.A cat has claws at the ends of its paws and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.Commas will be cropping up a few more times in this article, so take note!

There are lots of jokes and other illustrations of how important commas are. They have the potential to alter the meaning of a sentence completely, as the next few examples show.
One humorous illustration of what difference a comma makes is as follows:A comma is the difference between “What is this thing called love?” and “What is this thing called, love?”“What is this thing called love?” (without the comma) is a rhetorical question and a paraphrase of the lyric of a popular song by Queen (Crazy Little Thing Called Love), but add a comma before the “love”, and you turn it into a question that one might ask one’s other half (addressing them as “love”, a term of endearment) when asking what an object (a “little thing”) is called.

Another joke that highlights the importance of adequate punctuation in English is:“Let’s eat, Grandma.”With the comma, these words indicate that the speaker is talking to their grandma and suggesting that they eat dinner. Watch what happens when you remove the comma:“Let’s eat Grandma.”Without the comma, the speaker is suggesting that they eat their grandma!
There’s also a popular internet meme depicting seals photoshopped onto a nightclub dancefloor. The caption is “Stop clubbing, baby seals”, with the subtitle, “Once again, punctuation makes all the difference”. That’s because when you remove the comma, it stops being about seals in nightclubs and starts being rather more brutal.

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